Chubby Girl Brigade

Where Things Stand

Recently, there have been some big changes in my life:
1. I've become involved in a project with the local school district that does two things: keeps me from feeling guilty for all these years of never helping in my kids' classes AND makes me feel S-M-R-T, I mean S-M-A-R-T.
2. I've had some big changes at work that have resulted in my head nearly exploding with new responsibility.
3. I've become a Redskins fan.
4. Dramatic Weight loss. (Wait, what's the opposite of "dramatic," because that's what I meant.)

Additionally, I'm making some CGB-related changes in the next week.

They are:
1. Migrating to a new server (sorry TypePad!)
2. A shopping section. (Hi Ozlem! I told you!)
3. New recipes and profiles. (I haven't lost your submissions!)
4. A CGB Meet and Greet.
5. My undying devotion and gratitude to my loyal online friends. (Neither new nor a change, just an attempt to butter y'all up.)

Ask the CGB: Physical Weigh-In

M: i'm not sure if you'd know or if you've heard of anyone doing this, is it possible to refuse to be weighed at a phsyical?

Jerilyn: I have heard that it is

M:do you think i'd need to call ahead to tell them that? i have a physical on thursday because it's required for my fieldwork placement, and that part is really scaring me to the point of bad anxiety that would mess up my blood pressure reading

Jerilyn: I would call ahead of time
Jerilyn: tell them what you just told me
Jerilyn: I don't know why you can't just tell them your weight

M: because if i tell them i'll need to kill them?

Jerilyn: that is an excellent reason

M: lol
M: though i suppose threatening to kill them would just result in me being someone else's therapy study

Jerilyn: you'd be doing someone a favor, then, right?

M: lol
M: but straitjackets are so unflattering on me

Jerilyn: hey, maybe that would be a good reason to not diet: no plus-sized straitjackets

Anyone else have any advice for the Divine Miss M?

New Pants

Me, wearing new pants: I think I may have lost some weight.*

Zippy: You just go ahead and think that.

*A negligible amount offset by the meatloaf sandwich I ate immediately afterwards.

Proof that GAF is still alive and we are still speaking to one another. And proof of other things. But we'll get into those later.

I'm almost too embarrassed to post this.

In fact, if you see me on a regular basis in real life (Mom)(Dad)(Especially Dad)(Siblings)(Especially Boy Siblings)(Coworkers)(FedEx drivers)(everyone else), you probably don't want to read this at all.

I realize now that all I've done is make you curious, which means you'll read it anyway.

And then I will never be able to look you in the eye ever again.

I hope you can live with yourselves.

My Gift To You

Last week I posted the photo of me in my bathing suit and said it was a gift. I realize that wasn't really such a great present. Many of you looked at it and probably felt like I'd given you the internet equivalent of day-of-the-week underpants. Granny-style underpants.

So, I present the following:

80's Music Video Archive

Fifteen hundred chances to relive stirrup pants and giant bangs.

I know, I know. You're so welcome.

Ask the CGB: Subway Manners

"I take the subway regularly in NYC, and it obviously gets pretty crowded sometimes. But, if it's crowded and I have a seat, I'll give it up if someone else looks like they need it more than I do: elderly, has a cane/crutches, carrying a child, or of course, pregnant. My problem is, I don't want to misjudge who's pregnant. What do I do?"

As for my advice, I'm going to put myself in the shoes of She Who May Or May Not Be Preggers On A Subway Ride:

Scenario One:
Me, huffing and puffing from wedging myself between the subway doors: ack! wheeze! ack!
Anonymous CGB Question Asker: Hi, would you like my seat?
Me: ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT?! (shoots daggers with my eyes at her)

Scenario Two:
Me, huffing and puffing from wedging myself between the subway doors: ack! wheeze! ack!
ACGBQA: (silent)
Me: (silently ticked that ACGBQA won't give me her seat, and shoots daggers with my eyes at her)

Scenario Three:
Me, huffing and puffing from wedging myself between the subway doors: ack! wheeze! ack!
ACGBQA: Would you like my seat?
Me: Oh, thanks!
ACGBQA: So, when are you due??
Me: Uh.. I'm not pregnant.
ACGBQA: Oh, uh, oops.
Me: (shoots daggers with my eyes at her)

So, I'm just saying, I think no matter what you do, be prepared for the eye daggers.

But are they slimming?

I have been slammed with work. As payment for your patience, I am posting a photo that was taken of me earlier this week after I got out of the pool. It is a horrible photo. And, I am in my bathing suit.

Love Your Body

By Cindi Goodeaux

Magazines
Movies
Television
Society
telling you
thin is in.

Diet pills
plastic surgery
different is sin!
All that's left is hair,
bones and skin?
You win!

But EVERY woman
should be told
her body is unique!
Her girth is gold!

Love every curve,
lump, crevice, and scar!
Let's change their thinking!
Let's reset that bar!

Forget the voices,
the leers and tears,
join the REVOLUTION
building each year!

Your body is precious,
No matter its size!
Your spirit’s what matters!
Your heart is a PRIZE!

To all the Divas,
regardless of girth,
raise your beautiful head
and
KNOW YOUR WORTH!

230 Years Old

Yesterday, at church, we were listening to a little kid talk about the things he was thankful for. At one point, he said, "I'm thankful that this week we can celebrate America's Birthday, even though I don't know how old America is, actually."

I leaned over to Grace and said, "America is 230 years old! I'm so smart!"

And Grace said, "Way to outshine an 8 year old, Mom."

Happy Fourth of July! Do what I do: celebrate the birth of our nation by blowing up a piece of it! (For those of you ouside the US, just bear with us as we get our redneck on.)

Ketchup Already!

My sister: I just spoke to [a guy that is marrying our cousin]. Did you know his nickname is "Syrup"?

Me: No, why?

Sister: Because he runs too slow!

Me: Ha! That's funny!

Sister: I know!

Me: That should be me!

Me: No, wait! I can be "Heinz"!

Sister: ?

Me: Because the only way I'm moving is if someone pokes a knife at me!