A generic adult female makes her list and checks it twice
#1 Opera Angel, Fresco, and Geisha skirts from bandlu.com skirts. I have managed to convince myself that if I were wearing one of these luscious garments, everyone would be so enraptured with the art on them that they would fail to notice the ample area it was spread across.
#2 BrainGate Neural Interface System. I read about this in the most respected of medical journals, the Reader's Digest. Apparently, this implant that they put DIRECTLY into your brain can detect thoughts regarding the use of the TV remote and a computer mouse. It's a brain-to-computer link, complete with 6 feet of electrical cables running from head to hard drive. Why do I want this? Simple. For many months, I have been plagued with the problem of how to eat chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and surf the net at the same time. My hands can't do both at once. If I want to click a link, I have to put the spoon down and thus deprive my mouth of precious dairy fat, sugar, and lumps of hardened chocolate. If my grey matter is linked directly to Craig the Computer, I need not suffer. I can just think to click the link and, voila, my hands need go nowhere but to my mouth, yet my computer uploads many hours of viewing pleasure at my command. And when I'm done, I'd just unplug the cable from the top of my head and am free to go upstairs to use the bathroom. This access port to my brain would also necessitate the purchase of many darling hats to cover the outlet on the top of my head when I go out.
#3 But seriously folks, I'll take a hairdo session at the local salon (any place as long as it's not got the word "Cost" in the name or is a clever pun incorporating some aspect of the hairstyling business. Also no intentional misspellings of any word). I would like highlights in my hair and I would like some advice on what hairstyles would look best on me. At the very least, I want someone to fawn over my hair and tease it and coax it and pamper it and love it and kiss it and whisper sweet nothings to it in all the ways I don't have time to do.
#4 Mountain Body Glow Lemon bath salts. Two of them, please. I have more leg surface area to cover than most gals (with the possible exception of Dame Judy Dench) and I always run out too fast. This product leaves my legs feeling smooth, sexy and smelling delicious. My self-image loses about 20 lbs when I have lathered it on in the shower. Aaaaaah! A day spa in one little jar!
#5 Belgian chocolates in the shape of seashells. GAH found these for me once (don't know where) and when I tasted them, I thought I had died and gone to Orlando Bloom's house. Smooth, creamy and shaped like nature's bathroom décor.
If I don't get any of these things, I'll cry because it'll be proof that Santa doesn't exist and what fun is living if there is no jolly fat man in a red suit for old bearded men with huge bellies to pretend to be?
Hey! I've got a skirt named after me! That's awesome!
"Cicely Skirt:
Poly satin skirt with stretch waistband. Black lace inset. Colors: Lavender, Sage, Black. Made in the USA by b&lu."
Posted by: | 15 December 2004 at 09:03 AM
And it's ALMOST as cute as you!
Posted by: GAF | 15 December 2004 at 10:03 AM
Actually, I would get the Botticelli one too, but I fear that every time I'd go out in public, people would want me to cover it up.
Posted by: GAF | 15 December 2004 at 10:11 AM
I love the Dot-e skirt. It makes me wish my name was Dottie.
Posted by: ~Zes~ | 15 December 2004 at 02:53 PM
I really really want to CGB ringer tee from Cafe Press, and if only they accepted paypal, because I have lots of money in my paypal account thanks to eeeeeebay.
Posted by: Melanie | 15 December 2004 at 05:41 PM
My mother's name is Dotti!
She hates the name - but I'm jealous because Dorothy Parker was called Dotti as well. Of course, she could hate it because her maiden name is Dodd.
Posted by: Miss Laura | 15 December 2004 at 09:15 PM
Also, I want the celeste skirt.
Posted by: Miss Laura | 15 December 2004 at 09:19 PM
Pretty pretty skirts! That I would never wear but so pretty! I want the Ms Saigon one in green and black!
And the black/pink zen wrap skirt, even though on me it would look like ass. And not in a hot way.
Posted by: Sarah | 16 December 2004 at 06:36 AM
I also love the name Dotti because it rhymes with the words naughty and hottie. Oh, how I'd love a poem from a romantic admirer if that were the case. But, no, I get poems like this.
Oh, Sara your body is covered in hair-ah.
Oh Sara, if you had a twin her name would be Tara.
Oh, Sara, your skin on your elbows is like the Sahara.
Oh, Sara. Oh, Sara.
I also love the Happy Hour skirt. I already have the perfect shoes. Now finding the perfect top might be a problem but if I really enjoy happy hour I won't care, right?
Posted by: ~Zes~ | 16 December 2004 at 10:45 AM
Guylian chocolate seashells, food of the gods - http://chocolat.com or just google it. Mmmm now I'm hungry...
Posted by: Bekka | 26 March 2005 at 03:02 PM