The Body Spray coveted by the CGB

A generic adult female thinks up something new

Recently I've been fighting sinus congestion. My only relief has been an OTC nose spray called Afrin. It shrinks nasal membranes so I can breath again and stop daydreaming of a do-it-myself tracheotomy.

So then I got to wondering, if scientists have been able to come up with a nasal spray that shrinks sinus membranes, why haven't they come up with an outer body spray that shrinks fat cells? It could double as perfume, even. Honestly, I would go for it, even if it was temporary, like Afrin is. Say I want to have my family holiday photograph taken. I always stand in the back so that my tummy and legs don't show. If I had a body spray that I could spritz on 15 minutes before the photo shoot that would shrink the belly flab by even just 10 pounds, I would be willing to stand in front, or even by myself.

Another use would be for major dressing-up events like proms, weddings, meeting your husband's ex-girlfriend, or going to the store where the cute stock boy works. Give yourself a little squeeze of Fat-B-gone and you'll fit into that size 16 hot pink, cashmere, v-neck, sequined sweater and matching hip-hugging black satin skirt with the bias flounce for a few hours.

Of course, with my luck, the side effects of Fat-B-Gone would probably be green skin, hair loss, and breath that would kill a whole herd of wildebeests.

Comments

[~Zesdy~]

Speaking of body sprays...

The Body Bakery has many scents a chubby girl would desire. I love that their product is alcohol free and that it's called a "Body & Hair Spritzer." Who doesn't like to spray a little on the hair? Click on ~Zes~ to get to their website. Great, delicious scents and the convenience of ordering online. I don't even have to get up off my butt. I like that.

[~Zesdy~]

I mean, click on ~Zesdy~. I should check to see which name I used before I click send.