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wow. i just found this site and the whole thing resonates with me so damn much. aside from the premise and content of the site in general, a couple of things just in the comments on this page really jumped out at me. first of all, someone said that she came here looking for an andes mint cookie recipe, which is the exact same way i found the site. more relevant, i noticed that several of you have mentioned PCOS, which i assume is an abbreviation for polycystic ovarian syndrome? i'm flabbergasted that so many people commenting on this share that particular health problem, and also somewhat comforted. i am going to my gynecologist next week because i suspect that i might have it. so i'm bookmarking this site not just because of the shared chubby girl experience, but because i identify on an even deeper physiological level. thanks to you all for this great piece of webwork!


Having discovered this site tonight, I have to share the following:

At this most lovely time of year, when small girls actually *bring boxes of cookies to your door* and you can feel altruistic for purchasing them (!!!!), you can also get "thin mint ice cream" at our local grocer. DIVINE. Last year I ate an entire box of the cookies and chased 'em down with a milkshake. The disgusting part is that my husband has been known to replicate such ice-cream snarfing behavior and still maintains his skinny-boy 16 year old physique at 34. If he says anything I can always crush him.

My favorite OB/GYN hell experience involved a 4'11 female asian md who weighed about as much as an anorexic gnat informing my then size-10 self that I was "morbidly obese." No doubt she'd flee screaming from my frightful prescense these days.


Wow Janet, morbidly obese at size 10? I've never been a size 10, even when I was 10. When I was 18, my doctor told me "you should really lose weight, if you do, you'd probably get a boyfriend" When I answered, "I already do have a boyfriend", his response was "oh".

He couldn't give me any medical reason why I should shed the suggested 40 pounds so he used what he thought he could, a chubby girl's supposed bad feelings about her body and her relation to guys. What a creep.


OMG! I've avoided the medical profession as much as possible for the very same reasons. It's utterly astounding that they will have the gall to blame everything wrong with you on the fact that you are "overweight."

I remember the last time I went in for a physical - the kind you are supposed to get on a yearly basis. Everything was going great, the doctor seemed to be considerate and thoughtful, with open discussion on how I was feeling (physical well being, I mean) and all that stuff. And then, at the end of this wonderful visit, she tosses out: "You should think about getting some exercise. It would be good for you to lose a little weight."

First of all.. NO DUH! Wouldn't that be nice? But what really pissed me off was that she had not asked about what I was doing, if I was doing anything about exercise or not. She just ASSUMED that I must not be exercising. I could just see the picture she had in her head of me laying on the couch stuffing my face while watching tv every night.

So, I looked her right in the eye and asked her when she would suggest I squeeze some exercise into my daily schedule, since at that time I was: getting up, going to work at my day job, eating a moderate lunch at midday, then grabbing an apple on the way to my evening job at a theatre, and after that job was over, I typically went out dancing for 2-4 hours five+ nights a week to deal with my stress. And when I say "dancing" - I mean DANCING. Not that stand in one place rocking my weight back and forth that the skinny girls do with their "omg-I-look-so-hawt" attitudes. I would really move it. (GOD I miss dancing...)

People need to check their assumptions at the door and maybe learn how to ask a few questions first before deciding that people are fat, lazy slobs who lay on the couch and stuff their face every night. While that may be a truth for some people, it most certainly does not apply to all!



Argh. MEDICAL staff.

Okay, it actually says on my file at my old university that I'm ex-anorexic. At the time, I was in the 'overweight' range of the BMI chart (I was like 8kg (19 lbs) overweight or something - HARDLY dramatic). I came into the office with a VIRAL infection, needing a medical certificate to get out of work.

The doctor took my blood pressure, which was A TEXTBOOK PERFECT 120/80. Then, he sized me up. Literally. His eyes went up and down me. His next words? "Have you thought about losing some weight?"

I went OFF at him. I shouted, I ranted, I gestured violently toward my file - which he admitted he hadn't even glimpsed at - and sobbed.

The worst thing was, at the time I was VERY fit - doing a lot of team sport. I know for a fact this doctor smokes - so in every likelihood I was a DARN SIGHT healthier than him!

I demanded a written apology, and got one.


Space Chick

And my personal "dumb doc" anecdote: "hey, I want to see the physical therapist, because I've developed this pain in my right hip when I run." "Well, maybe you should run less..." Thanks, Captain Obvious. If I'd told her it hurt to breathe, would she have suggested I cut back on that too?


Actually, the "not eating two hours before a meal" is not a myth. If any person eats within an hour or two before going to bed, the food that was just consumed will sit in the stomach without having been digested properly. Vitamins and minerals are unable to go to the appropriate places, however the fat in the food will accumulate in that area. Most people you see who have fat rims around thier belt area is, for the most part, due to eating late night snacks around bed time.


gahh, I hate the lecturey shite, too. Flu? "Well, nothing I can give for that, but while I've got you here let's talk about all that excess weight you're carrying." Migraine? "if you weren't carrying all that FAT ON YOUR HEAD, it probably wouldn't hurt so much." horrible reaping accident which you can't pay for the emergency room because you have no insurance? "if you'd just LOST THAT WEIGHT like I keep telling you, you'd have had insurance right now. clearly you are not cost efficient. and, too, fat people are klutzy, which probably explains why you cut off your own arm and nose." "actually, it was someone else's fault." "...well, you probably drew him into your orbit. fat people have stronger gravity pulls. anyway, as long as I've got you here..."


anyhoo, per PMS: *yes* exercise helps. Yoga is good as well as more strenuous aerobic-type workouts.

as for the soda: for me, the biggest culprit is the CAFFEINE, certainly pain and bloating-wise, probably mood-wise also. really really makes a big difference. not that that stops me from drinking it, but at least I know. chocolate has it too alas, but it also has that mood-enhancer, so depending on what your symptoms are, ymmv.

supposedly protein around That Time is better than carbs, but that might just be the remains of the Atkins peoples' influence. personally i say if a nice rare steak appeals then go for it. usually i don't want to eat much at all when i'm in the throes of PMS. I tend to make up for it later, tho'.


My OBGYN is way nicer. He's actually a bishop now. ANd he let me order him around for my third baby's birth. He's great.
Anyway, I have talked to him about PMS.
There is a new medication that is an antidepressant meant to be taken just 7-10 days during PMS times. Serafem.
Also, he suggested that some people use Zoloft. And have a lower dose during the month, except during PMS times they use a slightly higher dose.
DEFINITELY go see a different doctor. Plenty of "skinny" women, or women with great husbands, or women with everything else going perfectly, still have PMS.
Consider trying medication. Just because you try it out, doesn't mean you have to stay on it forever. And remember, it might not be a total "Cure" so you may decide after a while it isn't working as well as it did in the beginning. Medications aren't a perfect fix. But, they are available, and they really, really might help. I have a thyroid disease, and medications don't cure that either, they just "manage" symptoms (imperfectly). So, anyway, there is my advice. PMS sucks. PMS makes me a bad mother, bad wife, and unhappy person.


I just realized that I lost my PMS when I had a hysterectomy. It's been 8 years, and I have not thought about PMS in that length of time. Of course I'm bi-polar/schizo-affective. BTW what is PCOS? This is my first time posting, but believe me, I fit the parameters of the list. PB


Seems you have gone through such a nasty pain. I hope you have recovered by now.


I went to the doctor for a similar issue two years ago, she said, in a very Natasha-esk accent and I quote:

Dr "jew har fat und out ov shape, jew need to looze veight..."

Me Blushing, "cough... umm..."

So I started excercising and during a particular slippy game of "touch football", broke my arm. When I went back the conversation went like this:

Dr "Chow did zis appen?"
Me "well, you told me I needed to exercise"
Dr (interupting) "OHHhhh - so zis is my fault?!!? Vell, I vish I could vave a majik wand and fix every zing but zat is not hoe it verks!"

I ended up off work for a month and gained 10 pounds.


I love it how healthcare-related stuff says, "If you are overweight, lose weight." Has anyone who ever wrote one of those stupid things ever actually TRIED to lose weight? They make it sound so easy, like dropping off a couple of suitcases at the Salvation Army donation window. "Here's some excess weight--I know that there are people out there who need it more than I do." If it were that easy to lose weight, we'd all be "average."

Sure, there are health problems tied to being overweight; however, not every health problem is caused by being overweight. It upsets me when medical professionals aren't more sensitive to pointing out the obvious.

Doc: You're overweight. Lose some weight.
Me: Well, gee, thanks--I *never* would have thought of that without your insight. I have eyes, mirrors in my house, and pants that are tighter than they used to be, but it never occurred to me that my *weight* could have been the problem.

I love what you ladies have done here, and I look forward to reading more.


Love your site!
The only thing that really helps with PMS is vitex agnus castus (it is a herb: the chaste berry tree). I used to have really horrible mood swings, very painful breasts and I was very irregular. It did not do anything against the suger/chocolate cravings though, but at least I do no longer feel depressed while eating belgian chocolates.
See this site for info about agnus castus: http://www.alternative-healthzine.com/html/0700_2.html
I always order it online from vitaminlife.com.

miss madhatter

how can you poke fun at such a serious issue, to you girls being overweight may be a source of great amusement, but your just kidding urself. A distraction from ur unfulfilling lives perhaps? Its unattractive, unappealing and unhealthy. Do you not have any pride left or self respect for yourself? to let yourself get so obese and then LAUGH at it ... lose the weight, get off your soapbox and take some responsibility for yourselves. Put down the ice-cream and pick up some weights. not that hard hunny.


Translation: Hi! I have nothing better to do than troll the internet and make myself feel better by attacking other people! I'm AWESOME! Maybe one day I will take a break long enough to get that job I've been wanting at McDonald's and get out of my mother's basement!

Also, if I play my cards right, I might learn the proper way to contract "it" and "is" as well as "you" and "are."

Oh, and before I forget, I'm going to learn the proper translation of the word "peace" because right now, I think it means "hey, I'm going to leave rude comments on your website but if I sign it 'peace' maybe you'll think I'm not trying to start anything."


Oh dear god, not another one...



The power to edit comments RULES.



I hope you're still checking comments for this post, and I hope that you've gotten antoher gynecologist. If not, then absolutely *insist* that she does something to help you instead of harping on your weight.

Let me tell you about your mother: For years, she'd been suffering from incredibly intense menstrual cramps. She'd complained to anyone who listened, especially her gynecologist. The gyn told her time and time again: "Lose weight. Stop smoking. You're exhagerating."

Since they wouldn't help her, the only way to get rid of the pain every month was through over-the-counter medications like ibuprofen. She would take at least six 200mg pills at a time, and there were days where she was still too incapacitated to get out of bed.

My mother did quit smoking, and she did lose some weight by walking to to and from work every day, even though she was still considered overweight). But, she still had instense menstrual cramps. Of course, her gyn still wanted to blame her weight. That's when my mom got pissed. She demanded that something be done. She wanted a 2nd, 3rd, 4th opinion, if need be. And she got it.

It turns out that my mother had a severe case of endometriosis. They had to perform a full hysterectomy. Where other women would be upset at such a loss, my mother was ecstatic because it meant no more pain. However, several months later she developed liver cancer and died soon afterwards. Although we can't prove it, my family and I believe that the years of too many pain killers was the cause of the disease.

If you haven't done so already, please tell that gyn to do her damn job. Tell her my mother's story if you want. And if the bitch won't listen, PLEASE find someone who will.


Hey! Y'all are in Oprah's O! At least, the heading to this post is.

I hope the funny returns!


REALLY?? Neato!!

Weight Healthy

Most people you see who have fat rims around thier belt area is, for the most part, due to eating late night snacks around bed time.


how about this one? I have always been overweight. So when i was around 17 i went to a new doctor as opposed to my pediatrician (who also never did anything to help me or my ignorant skinny mother with my weight issue). I cried, told her i was depressed and a mess and i couldn't handle going through my teen years being overweight and that my mother had no idea because she thought it was *baby fat* and i was *cute*. i asked her what i could do, a program, a counselor, a personal trainer, anything...she suggested that i buy the south beach diet book, read it and do it. i wanted to snap her skinny body in half, dip her in some cheese sauce and eat her. Don't you think it's ridiculous that Doctors/Gyns and everyone else will say..."you need to lose weight!" and do nothing about it? not help? not guide you? Because of this issue going unaddressed, i developed an eating disorder. ever hear of binging and purging? yeah well since i'm overweight and obviously can't function as a normal human being or be successful in anything i do because i'm "lazy" i have only mastered half of my eating disorder. the binging part. that doctor, skinny girls, men who say they "hate and are disgusted by fat chicks" and everyone else who has never had a weight problem and is to quick to judge can take an energizing, healthy hike. as you can see, i'm bitter and angry. i have a lot of resentment towards anyone who doesn't understand. i have decided to change my life this year though (2007). so far i have lost 25lbs. My goal is to eventually lose enough weight, get healthy enough....and get out there. get out there and be the guidance to other women who never thought it was possible. i don't know how i'm going to do it myself, let alone how i'm going to help other people do this...but i'm going to really try. No one should feel the way i have been made to feel, been pushed to do the things i have done or be punished socially for being overweight, as i have been. And i'm sure the same goes for a lot of other individuals out there as well. Good Luck to everyone on their own personal journey through life. It's not easy...and if anyone ever feels alone in this struggle and finds comfort in these blogs, as i have...know that I care, understand and sympathize. Please feel free to contact me. <3


It's nice


I enjoyed reading your page start to finish. I can definitely relate as someone who's struggled with weight my whole life (and PMS) and only realy lost weight when I wasn't trying. I will try to be more sensitive to others with being happy with their bodies and weight issues. Sometimes I ask people to control what they can whether it be dietary modifications or exercise and leave the scale alone. Having said that, I think I should waddle my pregnant body over to the shower. Toddler's asleep and I've got to make haste. Love and hugs to all the women out there. It's not easy to be happy in your own skin, but this is the best site I've seen for taking your best shot!

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