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omg, I howled!! I can so relate. And you are completely right about other people in bathing suits. If you stop obsessing about yourself for a tiny second - you can see other people's flaws and everyone has them. Even that 12 lb 16 year old who looks like she lives at the gym. As someone who has gone to the water park as both a 120 lb teenager and a 250 lb woman, grace does not come easily when there are water and inner tubes involved no matter how much you weigh. However, now that I am down to 150, I am going to try again this summer.


This reminds me of the time I went to Action Park on a water slide which you didn't have a tube or a mat, nothing between your body and the slide itself except water. Well. Being a big gal, well... I can say that it's a challenge going down waterslides, if you can't get any water between you and the slide. Yep. At one point, I just got stuck. Oh yeah. I'm the fat woman who caused a human pile up on the waterslide, Summer of 1994. Good times!


Hey, thanks for sharing your experience with us. I spent many summers with my daughter at the water park in Redding, CA. If you think those slides are bad, come check out the indoor water park we have in Anchorage, Alaska; I wouldn't dare go down the slides for fear of getting stuck in those little tunnels but lazy river and wave pool are great fun. Oh, you can also loose 10 lbs from the humidity in there.

I was just in Redding two weeks ago but was able to stay cool in the privacy of my sister’s pool. Thank goodness, for the temperature was HOT ranging from 104 to 118 while we were there and as Alaskans, we were melting.

Kate Dino

Snort. I had a similar experience at my county fair on the giant slide.

Now I want to see someone write about what happens when a woman who's squeezed out three kids decides to recapture the magic of childhood by climbing into the Moon Bounce. Did you already do a post on stress incontinence?


I think the last water park I went to, my swimming suit got caught on a screw on the slide and ripped right up my butt area. Very embarrassing trying to explain why I wouldn't get out of the pool at the bottom.


I was dying! I am from Sacramento and we have two big water parks here and I have had to endure them both (repeatedly) with my children. I can soooo relate!


your crazy and you can't spell....let me let you in on a little secret.....there's no such thing as chubby....its either skinny or fat........and since you wrote this you must be fat and so go on a diet.........and you can go on any of the rides you want.... stop being a pussey...let me clue you in almost everyone flips over at the bottom of the raging river...get over it....they werent laughing at your fat paraniod ass... its funny to see someone eat shit... i am 115 pounds and i eat shit.....so stop feeling bad for your self and get off your ass and go on a diet...


oO I used to live in Redding, and know all the humiliation that used to go with enjoying a day at that park. I'd never thought of the lazy river there as having been drawn by no-thumb-having drunken monkeys, though now that I think about it, it fits perfectly.

I just found the CGB, and love it to bits.

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