Diets: A Retrospective

I just noticed as I typed the word "diets" that if I mistype, it's quite close to "Desist" to which I say, "WILL DO!"

Some sites review movies. Some sites review books. Some sites review sites. I've chosen to review diets I have been on. It's been a painful process, marked with much crying, wailing and eating of red Austrailian licorice.

Feel free to add your own diet history in the comments section. I'll eat more licorice in your honor.

BRACE YOURSELF FOR THE SIDE EFFECTS
Age: 12
Weight: 133
Height: 5'2"
Diet: What I remember eating was lots of raw broccoli and hard boiled eggs. What I remember burping on a near constant basis had to be fumes from the inner sanctum of hell.
Weight lost: 8 pounds
Diet breaker: Finding out that burping actual fire and brimstone was way less cool than being 10 pounds overweight.

EATING LIKE A LADY
Age: 15-18
Weight: 140-160
Height: 5'2"
Diet: I tried portion control, which would work great for about two days until my cravings took over and forced me to eat an entire pizza or eight Happy Meals (there's a reason they're called Happy Meals!)
Weight lost: none
Diet breaker: seeing the Golden Arches

IN MY MOTHER'S FOOTSTEPS
Age: 22
Weight: After the age of 18, a lady doesn't reveal her weight, right?
Height: 5'2"
Diet: Weight Watchers. My mother lost weight this way. But she also has more will power than anyone I know. She could stare down 10 pounds of cheesecake and it would sprout legs and slink away on its own.
Weight lost: 10 pounds
Diet Breaker: Finding out that butter and sour cream weren't allowed on baked potatoes, and with my horrible rebellious streak, eating butter and sour cream on anything that went in my mouth. Including salad. And water.

SLIM-not-so-FAST
Age: 23
Weight: Ahem.
Height: 5'2"
Diet: Slimfast. As if I need to explain it.
Weight lost: 15 pounds
Diet Breaker: Sensible dinner? Define sensible. Sensible for a ravenous mountain lion? Yes. Sensible for a 20-something fat chick? Doubtful.

BLAME IT ON THE BABY
Age 23 and 25
Weight: See above
Height: 5'5" (hurray for heels!)
Diet: For some reason, I always lose weight when I'm pregnant. I may gain some, but generally, I leave the hospital weighing much less than I did before I got pregnant. You'd think with that kind of track record that I'd have 15 children, but no, I'm a barely self-controlled baby shaker and they send baby shakers to prison these days.
Weight Lost: 50 pounds
Diet Breaker: Realizing that I'm thisclose to smacking that kid up side the head.

TOTAL INSANITY
Age: 26
Weight: As if I can be tricked into revealing it. Again.
Height: 5'7" (and even bigger hurray for platform shoes!)
Diet: I picked up Susan Powter's book (her eyebrows hooked me, if you can believe that) and read all about how bad fat is for you and cut out ALL FAT.
Weight Lost: 23 pounds
Diet Breaker: Reading in the book about her breaking point (the point at which she decided to lose weight). Seems that one day, she found herself crying and sitting on the floor of her pantry, eating yellow cake mix out of the box with a spoon. I thought, "OH YUM. YELLOW CAKE MIX." and mixed up the batter and ate. it. all.

SURVIVOR
Age: 30
Weight: More than the last time I was on a diet.
Height: 5'7" (By this time, I have a closet FULL of heels and platforms. My, how I covet height.)
Diet: My husband, upon watching the TV program Survivor, decided that a terrific weight loss program would be, what he calls, the Survivor Diet, which consists of rice, water, and anything you can catch in your back yard.
Weight Lost: 0 pounds
Diet Breaker: Honestly, do you really think anyone with a weight problem can stick to an all-rice diet for more than 15 minutes (the time it takes to choke down 2 spoonfuls of plain rice and no, you cannot have seasonings. Richard Hatch did NOT have seasonings)? Besides, I can throw a bag of Oreos in the back yard and quite successfully catch them. Usually. Stupid dogs.

ATKINS
Age: 31 and 32
Weight: What I weighed in high school, with a 100 pound margin of error.
Height: 5'2" (I have a very interesting story involving platform flip-flops, a cement pillar in front of the elementary school and walking my children to their first day of said school, but it doesn't end well and I'll save it for another time)
Diet: All meat, all the time.
Weight Lost: 42 pounds
Diet Breaker: One tidbit I read in Dr. Atkin's book said that after being off sugar for a while, sugar would taste horrible. One day, I bit into a delicious Harry and David raspberry chocolate truffle and found it to be true. The truffle, something I had previously known to be delicious, tasted awful. So to prove it, I ate another. And another. And what do you know—they tasted MARVELOUS after I ate 40 of the buggers.

Comments

[Miss Laura]

You lost weight while being pregnant? Wow, if I ever get knocked up while still single I'll use that as a postive when telling my mother.

Yes, I know I've shamed you and you want to smack me but now you'll have that skinny daughter you've always wanted!

[ty]

I've been enjoying my Japan diet, which unfortunately is topping out apparently. It involves nonstop sushi and biking to work. I've lost something like 30 pounds with it. It's been heaps of fun.

The deal breaker is coming up in the form of a friend who hates sushi. In a town with only restaurants and karaoke to keep you entertained, sushi is becoming harder to eat on an outing.

[Melanie]

I was reading this going "check, check, check, check" Ive dont 'em all except the pregnant one. And me thinks Ben and Jerry's is too good to lose weight while pregnant.

[Mandy]

Try "the naked Diet". I recently lost my job and thought it would be a good chance to take some time off. That means that I stayed home, watched reruns of law and order and ate pizzahut 3 times a week.

One day I thought it would be nice to have a naked day (just a pointer, if you are going to have a naked day, dont fry bacon. ouch!). while hanging out in the nude, I walked by the full lenght mirror and was stunned! my once creamy skin was now curdled into cottage cheese. My attractive perkey boobs that used to knock men out were now hanging low. And when did my thighs become white greek pillars?

I took action (after I put on my clothes). The dog got an extra 20 min of walking every night. I ate so many healthy choice meals that i was pooping health.

All in all, I lost 10 pounds before I realized all I really need to do is wear clothes. Live and Learn!

[Erin]

How 'bout the DOCTOR RECOMMENDED anorexia plan?

Age:19
Height: 5'6"
Weight: God only knows
Diet: 1200 calories per day, less than 200 from fat, 90 minutes exercise per day, 6 days per week
Weight lost: After 4 months, I had GAINED 16 pounds and gone up 2 sizes
Diet breaker: Going back to the doctor, asking why I had gained weight on his miracle plan, and being told "Maybe cut down to less than 1200 calories per day". I told him to go screw himself (much to my mother's horror..."honey, that's a dirty, dirty word!") and refused to see another doctor for 4 years. I also developed a meaningful, intimate relationship with the all-you-can-eat ice cream in my college cafeteria.

[Maven]

OY!!! Let's see... does anyone remember those awful caramels called Ayds in the 70s? Chew a couple and then have a hot cup of tea and it would satisfy you. HORSE FEATHERS!! Then the Cambridge Plan, those horrible shakes! Then the grapefruit diet... THEN! At the age of 14 I discovered the wonderful world of Anorexia, bulemia, diet pills, laxatives and obsessive exercise.

If anyone is interested, I have posted an interesting post to my blog about a similar theme, regarding the double standards in our media and sociey regarding fat men vs fat women.

http://thoughtnuggets.blogspot.com/2005/03/sexist-double-standards.html

[Lauren M]

I know that a lot of people are probably reading this article (and others like it with the main message being "diets dont work") and shaking their heads. They think its a failing on the dieter's part.
But to be honest, diets lead to a focus on weight and food that is totally unnatural and unhealthy. Because of this they are doomed to fail.
If only I could go back in time to the very first day when I got a notion in my mind that I need to 'lose a few' and push it out, I would.
Im nearing 19 now, and ive spent the last 5 years of my life consumed by eating disorders. Anorexia, then bingeing.
Repeat. I can tell you that diets dont work. Or at least if you are of a certain mindset (which apparently seems to be very common) diets are dangerous and can take over your life. If you decide to diet, you are ultimately playing with fire because none of us knows if we are prone to weight/body obsession until we lose the first pound.
Im about 127 pounds @ 5'7". Not really fat, (although it kills me to say it) and not really thin. Pretty much ok I guess. But then again I binged my way up to this weight. about 30 pounds in 3-4 months. And I'll lose it again. Because this never-ending until it all ends cycle has become my life.
as for my suffering. I can write prose, I can make it poetic. Anything can be made to sound beautiful if you really put your heart into it.
But no amount of tears or ranging anger can take back all this lost time. Think twice if you have a choice.

[Anna]

I quit dieting and started eating when I was hungry and stopping when I was satisfied. Despite the fact I eat MORE chocolate and previously forbidden food than I used to, I'm thinner.

The reason? I'm not obsessing about my body all day long. All diets do is make you obsess and scrutinize and critisize - AND PROFIT FROM YOU DOING IT!

NEVER dieting EVER AGAIN. HISS!

[Amber]

The prego diet worked for me! I left that hosp. weighing a good 5 lbs. less than I did 9 months prior. Then the nursing. Talk about a miracle. I was a small 16 but I had the flattest stomach in my life. LOL Too bad she's weaned. I occasionally wonder where that breast-pump is....

[surly girl]

i lost weight when i was pregnant - 7lb lighter at full term than i was when i fell...sadly once you've had the baby they don't call it morning sickness any more, they call it "bulimia"...

d'oh.

[gaia]

actually, if you cut calories too low, your body will store fat because it thinks it's going into starvation mode. i'm trying to do weightwatchers at the moment, just because i gained a lot of weight before i finished college due to psychotropic medication and inactivity. i've lost about 13.5 lbs, give or take. then i have relapses and eat a whole box of fat free pringles (which still taste the same, thanks to olean, and still have calories which add up to a lot if eating a whole box), and i still have extra cream in my coffee, eat cannolis and cheesy pasta at italian restaurants and other stuff like that... lol... i'll see what happens... i would like to be around 160 - 170... but i know i'll never be 119 again like i was at 17!

[Ann]

Hey! I just found this site the other day. I like it. :) I used to be "pro fat" and loved books like FAT!SO? Then one too many people beat me down and I started to believe that fat was bad again...not that I've done much about that but hate myself for being fat! Slowly I'm thinking maybe I should stop hating myself. But that's a hard go. ANYwho. To make this NOT totally off topic, I'll share the only diet I've been on. LA weight Loss. I went in on Friday to start it. On Monday I went back in and said "You really know how to suck the will to live out of people, give me my money back." They faught me, and then belittled me...but I got my money back!
Now I eat what I want, but try not to eat too much of it. And I try to exercise more...
I also have to ask, how can I join this club? I clicked on the link to submit a profile, but it didn't work. :( If someone could drop me a line, I'd appreciate it. Thanks! :)

[rebeka]

What a great entry. I identify, except I've never been pregnant.

[Maria]

I'm 51 and have struggled with weight as far back as I can remember. Anorexic/bulemic,now just older and chubby!
What a great sight...I've only read a few things...hope to check in often.

[maswee]

Tried having vegetable soup, consisting of tomatoes, lettuce,cabbage,onion and carrots, 3 meals a day over 3 days..it'll do you wonders, but you'll pass wind bad.

But here are 2 useful sites for dieters -
Lose 10 pounds in 3 days

how to lose belly fat

[maswee]

here's another site too..

Turbulence Training

It's a mixture of resistance and interval training for max gain in result.

[Visitor206]

I have visited your site 347-times